legal malpractice insurance quote

QDB: Latest Approved Quotes
Amusing reader-submitted quotes from Internet Relay Chat

• #244791
  <TerrorBite> Parse error: parse error, unexpected spanish inquisition in /var/www/index.php on line 51
  <NotoriousOIT> bwaha
  <kazin> I'm sure the author wasn't expecting that.
• #171576
  <CrazyJames> I know how not to cook lobster
  <CrazyJames> me mother worked for the gas company
  <CrazyJames> on a helphone back in the seventies
  <CrazyJames> giving out reciepes
  <CrazyJames> booking appointments etc
  <CrazyJames> someone called her asking how to get the lobsters to stop tapping on the glass of the oven door
• #270224
  The Fizz Meister:   Ungh, ME.
  The Fizz Meister:   I had to use that for several years.
  The Fizz Meister:   :(
  The Fizz Meister:   Bonus was that if I was about to get caught using porn, I'd just restart it.
  The Fizz Meister:   Say it crashed.
  The Fizz Meister:   Worked every time.
• #281910
  <Gregabyte_> huh... apparently the mayor of Birmingham has been arrested for corruption
  <Gregabyte_> and the city is on the edge of bankruptcy
  * brimstone turns on the bat sign
  <I-MOD> nice....
  <MrWorld> Yeah, Alabama Batman is great.  The Bat-truck really hauls ass
  <Gregabyte_> his arch nemeses include the Possum, Literacy Man, and the Dentist
  <MrWorld> And don't forget Alabama Joker
  <MrWorld> he may be just a pig in a bunch of clown makeup, but he's still a formidable opponnent
• #176439
  <IpodLinux> Ubuntu is African word for "I just switched from windows"
• #265546
  <+arinder> evening
  <&Frell> Afternoon
  <+Highfarm> well hello there children...
  <+arinder> i have Popsicles in my basement
  <+Highfarm> is that another way of saying you´re taking it in the ass ? :D
  <+arinder> wow i never thought it that way :D
  <+arinder> :(
• #279301
  <yoshi> Why someone just rode by my house playing a William Tell overture on a trumpet at 7 AM in the rain, I will never know.
• #277257
  <JSensebe> We've gone from Jesus to cockbacon in under half an hour. Good work, people.
• #282392
  <sereni> What the hell.
  <sereni> It's not my fault the kid came up to my fucking window and stood there for 5 minutes before his parents did anything.
  <sereni> Yeah, I have blinds for a reason, but you're a god damn parent for a reason.
• #278831
  <laffy> i wanna get stoned
  <assembler> go to iran then
• #280368
  greggacam|Farming: What's "user intelligence too low" mean?
• #144439
  <[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> oooo
  <[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> RnB means rhythm and blues?
  <[89]Z> yea >_>
  <[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> i always thought rap and black
• #279763
  <Infidel> hey i have about 50+ foreighn ips connected to my comp
  <Infidel> should i be worried?
  <Sky> what port, what protocol?
  * Infidel hat die Verbindung getrennt (Ping timeout)
  <Sky> yes, you should be worried.
• #269623
  <jed> god DAMNIT what did i DO WITH IT
  <jed> i packed a bowl, right here
  <metallic> jed: how high are you?
  <jed> i'm not
  <jed> that's why i'm LOOKING FOR THE GOD DAMNED WEED
• #213047
  <mancha> the ancient greeks believed the heart was the thinking organ
  <mancha> of course, we know now they were wrong. it's the penis.
  <DemisM> Mancha: What´s the female´s thinking organ?
  <mancha> DenisM, exactly!
• #271579
  <Sharq> I was at work one day with my fellow temps at an IT job, fairly menial work for someone in IT, such as OS upgrades on old hardware...
  <Sharq> Anyways, one day we were discussing our wages, considering the fact that they probably knew we were accomplishing dick-all in our hole in the wall while roaming the internet unmonitored using our admin privileges.
  <Sharq> That's when I thoughtfully declared that they were not in fact paying us for our work.  I pointed out that we worked with no supervision, limited accountability and no job security (we were done working there as soon as the project's time-table finished).
  <Sharq> With this in mind I argued this point while gesticulating wildly at a pile of over a hundred freshly unpacked and reformatted laptops worth over $200,000...
  <Sharq> They were in fact just bribing us not to steal shit.
• #265271
  asrskz: Don't tell me who won the 2000 election.  I have the coverage on disk but I have not gotten around to watching it.  Don't spoil it for me
  Alexius: hehe
  asrskz: Only last week I found out that Clinton was re-elected in 1996.
  Alexius: Yup.
  Alexius: Wait for the next two seasons.  They're really shocking!
• #234806
  <Xoke> drinking decaf is like masturbating and faking an orgasm
• #266249
  <Jesus> Lee: tricking wow players into installing keyloggers must be an fun activity
  <Jesus> I imagine you'd eventually lose your vision looking at page after page of wwwwwwwwwwwwssadwasdadadwdawdadawwwwwwwwwwwwwadssssssdasdawwwwwwwwwwwdaswwa
• #265238
  <celeste>  i was going to give her a lapdance if it seemed appropriate
  <celeste>  but i mean....
  <celeste>  why wouldn't it be?
  <ilanbg> my opinion is that lapdances are appropriate by default
  <ilanbg> and only in extreme cases are they inappropriate
  <ilanbg> e.g. if you have a kid in your lap
  <ilanbg> that's really the only example I can think of
• #266270
  Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance
  Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
• #268831
  <bobjam> Demonstrators in Cairo demanded Tuesday that Saudi Arabia release an Egyptian doctor sentenced to 15 years in prison and 1,500 lashes after he was convicted of malpractice reportedly after treating a Saudi princess.
  <bobjam> saudi arabia is bad.
  <Snow> But I bet their malpractice insurance costs are lower than ours.
• #270887
  <Betty> So, wanna go see a movie tomorrow
  <Sokol> NO! I toled you, i haev a girlfriend!!!
  <Betty> I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOU STONED FUCK!!!
• #270129
  < Frowardd> this channel, collectively, is alikened to a bundle of burning cigarettes
  < Frowardd> ie, full of nicotine and bad for me.
  < Frowardd> goodnight
  <@relsqui> that was the subtlest way to call us all fags ever
  < Selig> relsqui: what was?
  <@relsqui> exactly.
• #266051
  <PandaFister> pedo = feet or love of the ground
  <OliveTower> America spells it pedophile
  <@PandaFister> because their FUCKING STOOPID
  <@PandaFister> do I have to go through the whole pedo/paedo explination
  <@PandaFister> e.g. a pedometer counts how many footsteps you've made
  <@PandaFister> and a paedometer counts how many children you've fucked
• #264456
  < bsmntbombdood> StumbleUpon has temporarily run out of sites relevant to you. Please sign up for more topics.
  < bsmntbombdood> wtf!
  < bsmntbombdood> i've run out of internet!
• #261898
  <@Kamaris> so apparently at 8:04 this morning i sent an email to the department
  <@Kamaris> subject line "Srghb"
  < MrCodez_> Kamaris, you sat on your phone and sent an email?
  <@Kamaris> no, i jabbed angrily at it when i woke up late while using my thumb with one eye open
  <@Kamaris> i was trying to say "i will be in late"
  < MrCodez_> going for the phonetic spelling of that I see...
• #262694
  <@terminal> dell guy is here replacing some hardware in a server
  <@terminal> dude fucking smacks his head in to the power button of another server and takes it down
• #232500
  IndigoNocturna: When the guy sat next to me on the bus, it reminded m