The Truth Will Reveal Itself
Previously: Whitney's life revolved around Australian hipster musician Jay, whether he was rescuing her from the clutches of her snobby co-worker Olivia or distracting her from a dumb-as-rocks, trucker hat-wearing male model named Alex. But before Whitney could get too comfy with Jay, Alex called with some news...
Whitney meets Alex for lunch and updates him on her move to New York. She apologizes for ditching him the night she met Jay, and he wonders what has come of that. She says things are still on, so he brings up how his roommate's best friend Danielle used to date Jay and claims Jay still holds a torch for this girl. He mentions a recent encounter they had at a club where Jay allegedly said he wasn't dating Whitney and made a move on Danielle. Whitney is dubious, but Alex says he and Danielle have no reason to lie. Whitney says ominously that she will have to choose whom to trust.
Just like Britney's life (minus quickie marriages, children, pills, breakdowns, and comebacks), Whitney's is a circus. Or so the musical supervisor would have us believe as we kick off the show with the title song of Ms. Spears' new album. Over at Erin's apartment, Whitney recaps her lunch with Alex, admitting that the information shook her up and that she doesn't know whom to trust. She plans to talk to Jay, even though she knows he might lie. She does that girl thing, reciting to Erin a dramatic speech, which she has clearly rehearsed in her head several times, about how she's a big girl and not naïve, so don't fuck with her(!). Mind you, this is totally not what's going to come out of her mouth when she talks to Jay. Nonetheless, Erin encourages her. Whitney knows she has no choice but to confront Jay.
Jay and his roommate Adam play basketball in Central Park. Adam asks, "What's new in the life of a lion?" Jesus, what a d-bag. I'm not going to even start thinking about it because this weecap will be 6,000 words long if I have to deconstruct why that opening line -- not to mention the pair of multicolored board shorts that Jay is rocking -- was so ridiculous. Anyway... Jay gives Adam the rundown about how uncomfortable Olivia's party was (for all 90 seconds he was there). It's obviously dubbed over, but I can't trouble myself to care since he ultimately agreed to dub these stupid lines. Adam asks if Jay will stop seeing other girls, and they both agree that taking the coward's way out and making the girl force the commitment issue is best. Adam says he didn't talk about monogamy with his girlfriend Allie until six months into their relationship. Is anyone still wondering why we saw her crying less than 30 seconds into the first episode of the series? Jay takes off for rehearsal.
That night, Olivia and her cousin Nevan (whom I am strongly considering deeming my nemesis) sit at Midtown restaurant Philippe and order expensive food and wine and talk about other people. You know, rich people's calisthenics. Nevan starts and ends the conversation advocating for Olivia to help Whitney out, thus reinforcing that he and his cousin are pack-leading, in-the-know New Yorkers. In between his bouts of blowing smoke up her ass, Olivia mentions all the awesome and important suggestions (which, conveniently, we didn't see) that she gave to Whitney to help her do her job right. Nevan advises Olivia to stop Whitney from getting "caught up in all that Downtown crap," so she deigns to bring Whitney to a Manolo Blahnik event at Bergdorf Goodman the next day. So, in summary, these are important, intelligent, influential people. Not at all the self-righteous, affected assholes that you think they are.
Elsewhere, Whitney meets up with Jay, who is channeling Justin Bobby (because it was only a matter of time) in a raggedy hat atop some scraggly hair and a hideous hipster outfit, though he does stop short of the farmer's overalls, thank goodness. She gets down to business, going over all that Alex told her about Danielle. He rattles off a fairly detailed explanation of how his actions could be misperceived and even whips out his phone in an offer to call Danielle and straighten this out once and for all. It's a straight-up poker bluff. Of course, Whitney is so taken aback by how balls-out he is that she takes him at his word. She even kind of apologizes to him, saying that she's still feeling out who she can trust. He says some patronizing nonsense about how she should be able to read his energy. He reiterates that he's telling the truth and smooches her hands to make sure they're all good. Whitney nods an okay, but homegirl looks pretty dubious.
The next day, Olivia takes Whitney to the Manolo shoe signing. She claims he's a family friend and starts talking about her first pair of Manolos from her debutante ball like she's some hot shit. Oh please. I've been to these type of events, and there are no strings to pull or fancy connections needed. You just sign up for an e-mail blast. When she and Whitney reach the front of the line to see Mr. Blahnik, he doesn't know Olivia from Eve. Family friend, eh? Furthermore, they run into Samantha, the assistant buyer whom they met at the DvF fashion show, and Whitney has to introduce Olivia to her. Ha! Samantha, Whitney, and even Manolo himself look totally nonplussed as Olivia blah, blah, Blahniks about her debutante shoes. After years of listening to Lauren Conrad's bullshit, Whitney can barely conceal her boredom.
The girls get their shoes signed, and Whitney and Olivia wait outside for Samantha. Honestly, I think Whitney just wants a buffer from Olivia. And you can see why as Olivia again asks about Jay. There's a point when a line of questioning no longer passes for genuine interest and just becomes creepy. Olivia has crossed that threshold. Whitney ignores the overture to Single White Female playing in her head and explains th
